About The Artist
The “artist” is an aspiring playwright and an aspiring drunk, which is very different from being a paper waster and an alcoholic…he hopes desperately and tells himself often.
(there is a knock on the door)
Detective: Are you Stuart? It’s Detective Jones, can you open the door please?
S: How do I know you’re a detective?
D: You can look through the peephole at my badge.
S: The door doesn’t have a peep hole.
D: You can open the door with the chain on.
S: The door doesn’t have a chain.
D: Open the door Mr. Caldwell.
(he does and the detective walks in)
D: So you’re a playwright?
S: I’m an aspiring playwright.
D: What’s the difference?
S: A door with a peephole and a chain.
He lives somewhere and eats somewhere and drinks somewhere and writes somewhere and sleeps somewhere and does it all mostly in Manhattan and has for twenty years.
He gets on.
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